image by DeanslifePart of my pre-TTC to do list included kicking my sleeping pill addiction usage. Don’t worry, I’m not talking about prescription strength sleeping pills, just your basic over the counter benedryl. I knew this would not be an easy task since I have been addicted taking some sort of sleep aid since I was 14 and diagnosed with scoliosis. You try sleeping through the night with your spine contorted into a 90 degree curve. It ain’t easy. And so my love affair started.
Since benedryl isn’t good during pregnancy, I knew I needed to start working on this vice early on. I decided to do it in steps. You would swear it’s heroine, so difficult to give up. My process started by first kicking my 3 Dr. Pepper/day habit. All the sleeping advice I found online suggested cutting back or stopping caffeine. And so I did. I stopped drinking caffeine in one month. Then, once the caffeine was out of my system, I started cutting back to a half a sleeping pill every night. At first this cut was painful, but eventually my body was accustomed. Several weeks later, I stopped taking the sleeping pills all together.
In the beginning I hated it. I was convinced this would not work. I’ll have to tell my OB I have severe insomnia, I thought. MUST have sleeping pills. And why was it so hard to sleep? Well, after I turned off the TV, I would close my eyes and try to sleep. What’s that noise? Did you hear that? It was a small creak, but could have been a burglar beginning to pry open the door. This must be checked out at once! It’s nothing, back to sleep. Try to think of happy thoughts. Like this Serena & LIly Blake crib set. Ahhh, the blue and green are so serene. Did you hear that?!? An unexplainable noise. Someone could have sneaked in through our roof and be planning to sneak in through the drop ceiling in the kitchen! I must check it out. Are all the doors locked? We have to double check. What about the back garage door that has boxes in front of it and impassable? Is that door locked? And so my nights went. Night after night. At first my dogs would play along come check out the noises with me. Then they got bored and opened one eye with this “Bitch- you’ve already checked the doors, you’re crazy” look. Don’t judge me Minnie Pearl!
Making matters A LOT worse… my husband. He was totally not playing the knight-in-shinning-armor and let me check all 58583 of those noises for you hun. Things got to a nervousness crescendo the day the neighbor told my husband there had been a few break-ins in the neighborhood. Oh my god! This gave credence to all my mysterious noises. Someone was slowly trying to figure out HOW to break into my house and now it was inevitable. Must buy gun. Must rig entire house with booby traps and dig a moat. This must be done before bedtime for my sleeps sake.
No one broke into my house while I was sleeping. And my husband told me a few days later that he thinks the neighbor was wrong. Aw, was that a glimpse of a night-in-shining-aluminum telling me not to worry? Eventually, the creaks and pops and ticks got fewer and fewer. Or maybe I stopped listening for them. And as an adult, I began sleeping through the night without crack benedryl.