After one week of vacation, 3 massages, 2 hydrotherapies, 2 mani/pedis, and many hours under the sun I feel relaxed and refreshed. Something about the euphoric relaxation allowed me to let go of my obsessive worrying over this whole baby thing. Yes, I’m on day 24 of my cycle and I still haven’t f’ing ovulated!!! Yes, my temperatures indicate hyperthyroidism and my cervical mucus pattern is more confusing than the stock market! I’ve calked this cycle up as a wash due to lingering birth control hormones. Usually, this would send me into panic. In fact, before I left for vacation, on cycle day 11, I was already panicked. Yet now, I say “oh well,” maybe next cycle. Did I just say “oh well”?? We have a huge break-through here people!
Something about allowing myself to unwind made me realize that some of the things I was stressing over were stupid. I can’t control when I ovulate, and no amount of scrutinizing or obsessing will make the little egg pop out into my fallopian tube. So for now I will let go of what I never had control over to begin with. And I will for once be happy knowing that it will happen when “it” is ready. Hopefully this sense of laissez-faire gained from my trip will continue with me long after my tan has faded away.