her ears.

her hands.

her toes.

It’s been one month since we’ve had Isabella, and time has creeped by so slowly.  It feels like a year has passed.  There are so many things that have changed and that I have learned in this one month.  

• The nights are hard.  It gets lonely rocking a baby for 3 hours straight at 2am.  Looking out the window into darkness, it feels like I am completely alone in the world with this tiny baby.
• Thank god for: the hair dryer, the bathroom heater, vibrating chairs/beds, space heaters, the sling, the moby wrap, and help.
• oh my god how much can a 6 lbs baby eat?!?  Is there a bottomless pit in there somewhere?!?
• I’m so glad I read all the books.  Especially Happiest Baby on the Block.  God bless Dr. Karp.
• Just like everyone lied about labor being so painful, they also lied about breast feeding being painful.  I’m beginning to think women are wussies.  (How un-feminist of me!)

At 1 month Isabella loves:

• snuggling very close
• The Sling and Moby Wrap
• The hairdryer and heater
• The boob
• SHHH’ing
• Her vibrating pack n play napper
• Swaddling

she hates:

• baths
• diaper changes
• clothes changes
• gas
• loud kisses
• burping
• tummy time

Her personality so far:

• god help us, she has her Daddy’s temper
• she loves being held and cuddled, this makes me think she’s a sweetie
• she has minnie’s appetite

My favorites:

• our morning naps in the big bed together.
• her face when she sleeps
• her eyelashes
• her snores

oh how i miss you, my dear 8 hours of uninterrupted sleep.

if i wasn’t brain dead from sleep deprivation i would write you a sonnet.

but i don’t remeber all the rules.  18 lines maybe… iambic pentameter something or another.

back to the point, i miss you sleep.  please come back.

i have the perfect spot for you in my warm bed right next to the chi chi.

the end.

p.s. whoever coined the phrase “sleep like a baby” never meet my baby.  liar.

At 8am the doctor came by and first checked my cervix, 4cm.  While checking the cervix, my water broke.  This was the first and only cervix check that hurt.  It felt like she was elbow deep into my vagina and reaching for my eyeballs.    There was some light meconium, so a respiratory tech had to be present for the birth.  After my water broke, oh boy, did the pain escalate quickly.  I sat in that awkward position with my bare back ready for the epidural and waited.  finally the anesteiologist came.  just as he was setting up- the unthinkable… a freaking kidney stone!  i was afraid i couldn’t hold still through the pain, but he kept telling me that the epidural would make the kidney pain go away.  big fat liar.  the epidural didn’t stop the kidney pain and barely put a damper on the contractions.  So i waited.  still not better so another anestesiologist came by.  she was much nicer and ended up re-upping my epidural 3 times.  she said it didn’t work on me because i am tall (i don’t think i’m really tall, she was just very short).  This seemed to work and i was pain free. I took a nap to conserve my energy.  The next time the nurse checked my cervix it was 6cm.  Then quickly after that it was 9cm.  Around 9cm, the damn kidney pain came back.  They were  afraid to up the epidual for fear i wouldn’t be able to push.  So we tried changing positions to affect the pooling of the epidural, and finally found a position that mostly did the trick.  and as soon as i changed positions, i was at the full 10cm.  Everyone was called into the room and the nurse started with practice pushes.  we only did a few practice pushes and her head was crowning!  the nurse told me she had blonde hair.  the nurse called the doctor, who was in the middle of seeing patients.  so i had to sit there with her head crowning, just waiting for the doctor.  maybe 10-15 min  later the doctor arrived and i was able to push again.  It only took one push to get Bella out, she  seemed to fly out all at once.  The doctor held her up for me to see, and she was just beautiful.  And absolutely perfect in every way.  

She was passed off to the nursery nurse and respiratory therapist due to the meconium in my water.  They did their tests and got her cleaned up.  At the same time the doctor was delivering the placenta.  To be honest the placenta was worse than Bella.  I think something didn’t quite go right with the placenta, maybe it wasn’t coming out on it’s own.  But the doctor’s face looked worried and she seemed to be working feverishly down there.  I kept seeing stainless steel utensils down there.  There was lots of pulling and pushing and prying, and at that point I wouldn’t have been surprised if the doctor pulled out a chain saw.  From her chest of tools.

I was given shots of extra pitocin in the leg to help the placenta come out, and eventually everything seemed to be fine.  I had the unfortunate chance of seeing the needle as the doctor was sewing up a tear.  It was a curved needle that reminded me of an upholstery needle I’ve used on re-upholstering furniture.  By the time it was over the floor of the room was covered in blood, and I felt like I had been through a bloody battle with the afterbirth.  They quickly cleaned things up and handed me Bella to breastfeed.  I was scared for the first time because I wasn’t sure if I knew how to do it right.  But amazingly Bella took to it naturally and we worked like a team perfectly.  After her first meal, our family was allowed in and everyone got to see  our Baby Bella.

It was a beautiful process.  Much easier than I anticipated. 

Total Weight Gain: 33 lbs.

Pregnancy Woes this week: heartburn is horrible.  I will be so happy once it is done.  I get heartburn from just drinking water, and sometimes it feels like from mere breathing.

Happy times this week: The anticipation!

Belly Button Status:  Pops in and out depending on her position.

Food Cravings:  nothing.

Dr. Visits:  OB visit Wednesday.  I’m still 1cm, so no progress.

Labor Signs: I’ve started having back pain with the contractions.  They are still just braxton hicks, since I’m not progressing.  Oddly enough this week it seems like things went backward, less cramping, less contracting, less pelvic pain.  Maybe she changed her mind about coming out into the world…oh well Bella, we are coming to get you on Monday.

Projects I worked on this week:  Trying to keep my mind occupied.  It’s a full time job.

Looking Forward to: Tomorrow!!!  Tomorrow I can hold my Isabella.

Total Weight Gain: 30 lbs.

Pregnancy Woes this week: contractions and more contractions.

Happy times this week: We got a TIME and are actually scheduled for the induction.  Wa-hoo.

Belly Button Status:  It’s actually gone back in quite a bit since she flipped head down.

Food Cravings:  salads.  weird.

Dr. Visits:  OB visit Tuesday.  We had an ultrasound and she has turned head down, wayyyyy down.  Head grinding against pelvis, going to fall out when I walk kind of down.  She weighs about 6 lbs.  One reading said 5lbs 14 oz, the other said 6 lbs.  Still in the 30th percentile.  And I am now a “loose” 1cm dilated.  The doctor said this should be good for the induction, and she said she didn’t expect it to take too long.  Hm, I’m not getting my hopes up.

Labor Signs: False alarm on Thursday.  I started timing the contractions at 10am and they were consistently 10 minutes apart.  Then they got down to 7 minutes.  Then to 5, like clockwork.  I drank 2 bottles of water and took a  nap.  They continued through the nap, so when I woke up I took a bath.  They continued at 5 minutes apart through the bath.  But I couldn’t see going to the hospital because they didn’t hurt and they weren’t increasing in intensity.  Eventually around 9 pm they tappered off and were completely gone over the night.  This whole labor thing is confusing.  Couldn’t she have a light that says “I’m done” with a little “ding” sound.  That would be very helpful.

Projects I worked on this week:  Re-nesting the nest.  If only these dogs would stop pooping on the floor!  They have no sense of respect for a freshly mopped floor.

Looking Forward to: February 15th at 12:30!

9 days until delivery!  (single digits!!  omg!)

look who's ready for a baby sister...

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